Don’t Skip Your Hoe Phase

Yello!!! Yey…before ngingena endabeni, ake nisho. Seniwathengile ama-pregnancy test or senizobona masenihlanza amafood parcels? Ai nina!? Ngyanivuma shame. I yes You! Umuntu anikane ngekhekhe, athi kumntwana bantu baby eyakho yonke, leso skhathi ufihle ikhekhe ngomkhaba. Aha! Ni- worse shame. Noma ungajola nomlungu, sizomtshela ngesingisi umuntu wakho izindaba zakho sithi, “Mbali removed a stomach”. Hahaha yes! Ngeke thina sicacise ngama abortion nani nani yoh...sekazayibamba phambile. Umuntu wakhona umakoti in three families cabanga. Ai le-gender le! Kumele ishayiswe nge-bus. Futhi kule lockdown kumele ingatholi i-girlfriend allowance cause no work, no pay. Vele. Anidunusanga mos…nifunani? Ngapha umuntu wakhona u-busy ufaka i-crop top mara unesbhono esime njenge-volume ye-amplifier. She will say let's rent a place, nawe uye ngekhanda elikhulu and rent that place with her for two years paying rent, kanti it's her house. Umuntu wakhona upakile mara still u-single. Hehe impilo will show you ukuthi umdidi owokuhlala phansi yazhai ulokhu uhamba udunusa ukhothane namapipi wabanye abantwana mawuweda you demand that he wears a condom. Condom yani kahle kahle ingculaza sowuyidlile?

Kodwa guys wooh. Bacon must most certainly be the dick part of the pig, because WOW!! Yeyiiii Jeso…yamnandi nto. Oh no maan. Let me not deviate from the subject. Sisesekuyo lendaba yale gender yesifazane esile. Yazini, labantu ama-agents ka Lucifer yhuu! Umuntu asukele umntwana bantu athi, "Baby ngicela ungiqhaqhe,"... leso skhathi inkwethu yakhe ngathi izimvuthu ze-pie.

Umuntu wakhona makapheka i-tin fish izingane zithi, "kunuka i-perfume ka-Aunty Lindiwe. Makaqeda uyarasa arasele ukuthi awumphanga imali knowing very well ukuthi i-lockdown. Yey nina! Imali ayifuni umsindo. That's why nama- TV wase bank angena volume. Le-gender ngathi ingaba heartbroken so much that ihlale two years yonke ingajoli ukuthi ipholise inhliziyo bese mayithi iyajola iqome umuntu o-wrong amphinde futhi. Hahaha. Yaz sometimes I wonder ukuthi ubani owafaka i-Castor Oil emjolweni. Yey asinyi asinyi! Amadoda wakhona asibuza ukuthi why singenalo i-panty le-lace, lesoskhathi yena udlela esitsheni sama- spice. Haisuka. Mara honestly seyingaze ivithike njenge mince-meat inhliziyo, umjolo wona asiwuyeki. Lalela, Don't skip your Hoe Phase wena Fam. It will come back and haunt you when you are married. Noma ngingabheda ngithini mina, do you akere!? I'm out. Ciao!

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