Once, my grandmother sent me to “landa leyompahla”, being fed up with asking for impahla that I never get, I got to the person’s house and said “ugogo ubethe ngizocela imali yakhe” without even blinking as the poor woman sat, watching TV with her family.

Now that we’ve found “freedom” and we have a democratically elected president, most people in the townships have toilets inside their homes. They no longer have to deal with the burden of having to go outside, especially on those cold and rainy nights. “Freedom” also meant that Black and white people can have romantic relationships without worrying about Officer Van Tonder for breaking the law. I have often wondered how Black and white people navigate their relationship.

Why do they speak in that accent? Whiteness which has actual power responds to these errant blacks by sidelining them in business just because they don’t speak like Vusi Thembekwayo or might not fit into the “company culture” due to excessive ghettoness.

It’s a travesty that black people in some quarters don’t regard you as being married until you’ve had a “white wedding”. We always waste money on two weddings: a normal wedding to appease and seek blessings from our ancestors and a bloody “white wedding” to show that we have some money and are not “barbaric”.

“It was difficult for me to keep up with the life I thought I had built for myself. The flat in Fourways, the car, the hair and nails, lunch or drinks at Tashas and Doppio Zero with regular girls’ nights out at Cocoon and Taboo finally took their toll.