A recession struck, business dwindled, and profits plummeted. When I told Mbali we had to cut back on luxuries, she flew into a rage. 'You are the man,' she said, 'work harder, provide, or I'm leaving.' Her words pierced me like a dagger. How could she be so callous after everything we had been through?"

Today, things have changed. There is a definite element of greed in most communities and some use lobola as a get rich quick scheme. It is suggested that Tau paid R200,000 for his former lady’s hand in marriage, and some years ago it was rumoured that Kaizer Chiefs goalkeeper, Itumeleng Khune, was asked to fork out a million rand for his then lady friend, Minnie Dlamini.