Fatphobia- The socially accepted hatred and disdain for fat/plus size people (depending on what term/s people prefer to use when describing themselves). Fatphobia stems from the same binary white supremacist cisgender normative and hetero-patriarchal ableist capitalist ideologies that dictate which bodies are privileged and which ones are marginalized. Amidst the riffraff and policing of colonized bodies, also exists the politics of size-sm and fatphobia. Yes, you are probably rolling your eyes or sniggering because you too bully/shame fat people and therefore are implicated. It could also be that your hatred of fat people renders you unable to see the micro-aggressions fat people face as violence.
I was chatting with a friend about my experiences in primary school of male violence and misogyny. About the emotional, psychological and physical violence endured during my adolescents every day for four years. Then it occurred to me that most of it was because of my weight. Plus, my mother used to body shame me as well so her words still sit on my body. Through all my years of therapy I had never thought this was something to address. How every day abuses at school for those four years became a trauma and how my mother and my sister would have to “sort out” bullies (although the irony was that they also abused me). So last week I'm chatting with my friend about body privilege and I get triggered thinking of the many friends and lovers who shamed me for “not loving myself” though they could never understand that level of trauma I had to go through. Nor will they ever understand how it still shows in my 30s and in intimate relationships. The hatred of fat people is real and it continuously startles me that even socially conscious and critical people constantly ignore or participate in this hatred.
Signs you are fatphobic:
- POSTING SELF-DENIGRATING PICTURES OF YOURSELF ON SOCIAL MEDIA SAYING HOW FAT YOU LOOK AND USING THE TERM FAT AS A NEGATIVE DESCRIPTOR. DOING THIS WITH NO AWARENESS THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE SHAMED/EXPERIENCE VIOLENCE BECAUSE OF THEIR WEIGHT AND HOW READING YOUR POST IS A CONSTANT REMINDER THAT THE WORLD HATES THEM.
- Justifying these violent posts by stating that you are JUST commenting about YOUR body and how it is NOT a crime to not be satisfied with your weight gain.
- If you were a childhood bully who tormented bigger kids, never interrogating as an adult how that hatred still shows up.
- Feeling discouraged that *If she can find a man at her size* then how am I still single?
- After not seeing someone for a while, making a negative comment about their weight gain. Including ‘innocent’ jokes.
- Feeling revulsion when you see fat people express their sensuality and sexuality. Because, fat people are gross and disgusting so they shouldn't be having sex right?
- Police fat women about what kind of clothes they wear for "their shape". Swimsuits are a no-no because fat people obviously don't swim or deserve to wear sexy clothes designed for the beach.
- Express concern over fat people's diet even though you have skinny friends who eat twice as much and eat way worse junk food. Nope. They are healthy.
- Make rude jokes about the quantity of food a fat person buys when you serve them at food outlets. Actually policing or making jokes about the amount of food a fat person eats period!
- Making assumptions about the work ethic of fat people. You are fat so therefore you are obviously lazy and lack self-control. This includes passive aggressive looks or remarks at the gym.
- Fucking fat women in secret because they are undateable or not human enough to introduce to your family and friends. And yes, even fat mendo this.
- Getting offended every time I write "fat" on this post because you view the descriptive term fat as something negative. *This excludes people who prefer to refer to themselves using other labels due to the trauma they have experienced as a result of the word being used as a denigration.
Lastly, towards the end of 2010, I had a very bad nervous breakdown and as a result I lost weight. I was the smallest I had ever been. During that time, I remember how nicer strangers treated me and the millions of public affirmations from my family. It was then I realized that... wow the world is hateful as fuck and a person’s weight affects how people treat you. So you are trash. All of you.