Today, things have changed. There is a definite element of greed in most communities and some use lobola as a get rich quick scheme. It is suggested that Tau paid R200,000 for his former lady’s hand in marriage, and some years ago it was rumoured that Kaizer Chiefs goalkeeper, Itumeleng Khune, was asked to fork out a million rand for his then lady friend, Minnie Dlamini.

Why do they speak in that accent? Whiteness which has actual power responds to these errant blacks by sidelining them in business just because they don’t speak like Vusi Thembekwayo or might not fit into the “company culture” due to excessive ghettoness.

“The thought of dating you makes me want to throw up” said a pretty classmate in high school. Then there was the beautiful girl I secretly asked out to the matric dance. After she rejected me, I thought the story would remain between us, but she made sure to tell my classmates and I became the laughing stock of the whole standard. I cried. I sobbed my sorrows to sleep.

I am always careful and wary of my surroundings, for my daily commute on foot from Noord to Bree Taxi Rank carries potential terror for my kind. But on one morning I am less vigilant; my mind is burdened with personal troubles that kept me awake the night before.

I have been single for about six months now. I miss him. His face, the taste of his lips still lingers but has begun to fade with time. We started talking again after four months of silence after the break up. For what reason, I am not sure.

Disharmony among the ranks of male professional blacks fills the air with unease not too dissimilar to that of being black in that province with bicycle lanes and De Klerk Boulevard. Suitable places to meet women are becoming limited. For peers in their late twenties and early thirties, the appeal of clubs and bars has long lost its taste.

Ok, I am going to be frank in this piece. If you are not accustomed to hearing a woman speaking frankly about sex, then I suggest you return to your preferred social media and 1920. Culture Review is probably not for you anyway. Alright? Good!

It’s a travesty that black people in some quarters don’t regard you as being married until you’ve had a “white wedding”. We always waste money on two weddings: a normal wedding to appease and seek blessings from our ancestors and a bloody “white wedding” to show that we have some money and are not “barbaric”.