My Leaping Sun

In the fiery sky
An evening becomes
Of what if not stars and a healing moon
And a stillness that feels like the earth taking a deep breath
I look to the stars floating above the burning horizon
And feel an urge to fight for my dreams
This current sunset I grasped in its end
Is pushing me to recall my weakness
This very moment when night pushes off the light
Is a recollection of how I succumbed to my demons
The night I have lived under even when day awaited me right at my doorstep
I have never quite died this much before
Even when my wrists where half slit
I still believed in a rising sun

This death I have now died is the deepest I have gone in digging myself a grave
under this facade I lay carefully when I force myself out of my dark spaces
Remind me of a time I was this numb
I cross my fingers as I attempt to believe again
To my surprise a deep breath does not suffice
But something in the burning sky moves me
The stillness brings me to tears
It is not the first sunset I have seen
I have devoured this moment before
But never felt my spirit confront me
I am disgusted by the way I have forgotten to pray
I have since faced each of my days blindly
And even so I have asked myself countless times why I was dying

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