Imagine if your partner cracked a joke during your passionate lovemaking; that joke came when you were enjoying those tingling beautiful sensations that are a gateway to explosive orgasms. Would you laugh or chuckle or ignore the joke altogether and continue with the sex? I know what I would do; I would laugh my lungs out and take a break from the sex session while I regain my composure. Getting back to sex will be much more fun because we are totally comfortable around each other and you bet I will have a great orgasm after that.

I think that as people we take sex way too seriously and we tend to stick to these stringent unwritten rules that require sex to be this thing that we do so that we can get an orgasm. To have great sex you need to get to know what your partner enjoys and also communicate what you enjoy because that is the best way to avoid many unnecessary awkward moments. It is better to throw away the “sex rule book” and enjoy sex from a point of having an understanding between you and your partner.

I personally want fun and funny sex which involves a lot of giggles and great strokes in between. Because for me sex is about connecting with the person I am with and I really love to laugh. Dirty talk? Of course dirty talk is one of the ingredients for great sex; but you need to really know the person you are in the sheets with. If you started calling me a bitch or a slut then I would stop the sex right then and there. Landing me in bed means you probably would know my feelings around those words. Fucking somebody for the first time shouldn’t mean dull sex; you just need to be careful around what you say. If you must make jokes then keep the jokes as light as possible and steer away from derogatory terms and don’t joke about your partner’s body; they might be self conscious and it could ruin the whole experience.

Someone on social media recently wrote that once, during doggy style, she turned back to look at the guy and the man waved at her. Reading that post initially made me laugh and then I became curious to know how she reacted after the wave and if the momentum of the sex remained the same or changed. We already know that I would have been amused and laughed; I am of the view that the wave was in the name of fun like “hey you” type of vibe. Self consciousness has a way of creeping into sexual relations, the wave could have made the sex awkward and maybe the guy waved because her looking at him made him shy. Also the wave could have made her think “what the hell” and made her feel uncomfortable. It’s important to know what your partner is self conscious about so that you can make them as comfortable as possible during sex. Someone who makes you forget about the parts of yourself that you really don’t like is definitely someone to enjoy sex with.

I usually look back during doggy style when I want a kiss or want to control the strokes if he is going in too deep. Some women look back to see the author of all this goodness. Most men never know how to react when we look at them during sex. The guy who waved is a legend in my book.

Don’t take sex too seriously; just enjoy it and try not to make things awkward for your partner and yourself. Go with the flow, listen to your partner’s body and have amazing orgasms.