Let The Juices Guide You This Valentine’s Day

I wonder sizoya nabobani kuma date night this weekend ngoba hai, abantu bethu baya ku men’s conference nge valentine’s day and apparently asidingeki thina. Yaz sometimes I wish I was a guy struu. I mean, ok wait, scratch that. I wish I was a guy with good dick. Ya. Ok, If I was a guy I already know that my girl would be a big assed, punani shaved barbie. I am not a liker of ass cause kutyiwa ikuku hai umdidi, so If I was a guy, firstly I wouldn't even bother attending a men’s conference especially one with a secret location. Kwenziwani pha kanti? Since no women are allowed, adlana wodwa lamadoda ethu? Yes. I mean, if a guy starts liking anal sex nje all of a sudden uyifundephi? If he can chow his girl's ass he can chow any ass right? Aze adle neyenye indoda obviously.

Shiiiiiit...so vele lama lingerie a-useless this month neh? Yaz there's a thin line between love and hate. Le men's conference yakhona will ruin a number of relationships struu; unless of course nathi bafazi we start having a gathering of our own. Eyethu izoba nama stripper though. Men with G-strings that strip and fuck us on stage while everyone is watching...wuuuu...the licks on your titties from another girl while this guy is between your legs rocking your body while tearing your pussy and then you reach orgasm in the crowd which has no camera and no one is judging because some are busy playing with their own pussies while they are watching live porn. Fuuuuuck!!!! That would be hot and steamy, siyeke ukubukelana nama tv while these guys are out having fun and the time of their lives.

Now, back to me being a guy. Valentine’s Day would not be every day; yes, I'd love my girl and cherish her everyday but she would get 50 Shades of Grey shandies once a year. See, s a girl, it is my fantasy to wake up to my man busy stroking and licking my khekhe, riding me gently while I am half asleep, kissing me while going in and out and all my juices making the situation so wet and slippery while I reach orgasm. Nothing gives a girl multiple orgasms like being kissed during tlof tlof. These guys just don't get it. All they wanna do is fuck hard every day, or slow boring sex sometimes, they are never able to read a girl. Lalela, the pussy juices tell you exactly how to stroke. Slow, fast or average. Let the juices tell you. They are your guide. You can't be banging a girl fast while she's dry, wahlanya? Kanti i-50 Shades of Grey ayinifundisanga niks? Emanuelle yona? Mapona? Ah guys come on. Ni-busy ne men’s conference umfazi angajabulanga ekhaya. Hamba, bazosala bakudlela.

Well apart from all the madness, it is nice being a girl as we know what makes us tick. Fuck the g-spot. Eyani? all we want is sufficient dick not just on vday, everday baba. Gifts and outings are just the cherry on top. We wanna cum. I personally ain't a fan of rimming and nasty dirty sex where my ass is licked and finger fucked, that shit is nasty as fuck. Gimme sufficient dick. That's it. Not on my asshole you dumb retard. It's bad enough to take your girl to a back room or your mkhukhu ozojuluka ama-window. Futhi imikhukhu inezimbobo where uninvited guests will be watching while they busy play with their dicks.

If uya ku conference yamadoda, fine hamba. Please use a condom. Isex imnandi with no regrets yaz. Nyoba uchame, usule umlomo then tell your girl all the biblical verses you learned ku conference. Ufike ukhalise igospel kuphela naye azobona ukuthi letting you to go to the conference was bringing out the Christ in you. Thina ama-cherry si-dom kabi. It is quite easy ukusishayashaya. Don't come stripping and dancing then sing, "pussy money weed." Ah, uzobe uyimoshile.

A toast To the month of love..."ASIDLANENI."