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CULTURE Review

MAGAZINE

Articles written by Nomsa Bembe

Wife Material but Dololo Lobola

Sibekezelela udodi nje. Kumele manje basebenzise i-straw badonse umsobho when they go down on us because muffing is just so old fashion just like lelobola abangafuni ukulikhipha. Umuntu wakhona u-busy uyamncenga kanti inyumba

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Quarantine Blues

Ei mara at least siphumulile abathakathi ne staff sase Broom Airways. Phela lento ye lockdown applies to them as well, meaning also no more midnight habits such as broom-flying. Akufani yaz. Umuntu sekayakwazi nokuvuka ngo-3am aphahle akhulume nabantu abadala without hearing weird noises outside umsindo wama wizard awa ngemishanyelo

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Ukuthandwa

Cuddling yabo Jesu! Uvukeliswa yi-warmth yakhe net ku-skin sakho. They even kiss you before touching your thigh, unlike lemigulukudu who touch your thigh first as a sign of wanting to go in between your legs. They always call or text to ensure if you alright and if you not, they wanna know what they can do to help. They even introduce you to their family and they pray nawe and go to church nawe.

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Ukujola Nabantu Abangenamali

Lento i-simple bahlali. Simple. Abo-brokie must date in their own calibre, level or whatever. Stay away from partners who are flat broke but bane expensive taste. Izimbungulu lezo and they will milk you dry. Wothi ngasho. Bayakubalekela futhi nemali mayiphela as if bona banayo.

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Let The Juices Guide You This Valentine’s Day

Now, back to me being a guy. Valentine’s Day would not be every day; yes, I'd love my girl and cherish her everyday but she would get 50 Shades of Grey shandies once a year. See, s a girl, it is my fantasy to wake up to my man busy stroking and licking my khekhe, riding me gently while I am half asleep, kissing me while going in and out and all my juices making the situation so wet and slippery while I reach orgasm.

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Sex & January’s Cabbage Blues

Tis the season for the cabbage lalalala lala lala...yhuu sana...tiz bad. Nini nini inkomazi, mawuthi uvula ifridge hello cabbage mawuthi uyayivala vuu tin fish...awusazi nokuthi the smell from the tin fish is the fish itself or it's your girl's punani ngoba phela this month kugezwa nge sunlight dishwasher...you bath but you still smell...kweeee...ningasifaki kuma family problems wenu somblief tog, thina we still good.

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How To Get Dezember Sexin’ Right

Elami ikhekhe liyaphumula ngo december. 16th is for my girlfriends, 25th and 26th is for family. 31st..uhm..oh well..maybe then I can be with the bae just so I can get serviced first thing in the morning nge New Year. I don't wanna wonder the whole day on the 1st of January ukuthi i-tlof tlof ka 2020 injani.

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