Who Are We Really Married To?
The risk about marriage is that it involves human beings, and with human beings change is inevitable and its direction unpredictable.
Our Physical Appearances Can Change:
Before getting married I was smaller, the person my wife is married to now has a big stomach, blonde moustache and weird haircuts. Heck, I might even get tattoos at some point.
Our Attitude Towards Life Can Change:
Before getting married I was idealistic. The person my wife got married to wanted to change the world, I saw the best in everything and the person who’s around now is a different guy. I have lost faith in the goodness within myself and that of everyone else too.
Our Ideals Can Change:
Before getting married I liked this idea of power couples, red carpet walks, gala dinners, winning awards, thinking working and breathing together as one flesh. The person she has now has completely different ideals, the ultimate for him is not inseparability but rather separate complementariness.
Our Characters Can Change:
Before getting married I was cold but focused. I was predictable, dependable, and reliable. The husband she has now is instinctive, spontaneous, a live in the moment and a bit warmer.
Essentially who I am and who she got married to are different people. Who I will be in the next two weeks or next 10 years? What makes it more complex is that she will also change, her physical appearance, attitude towards life, her ideals, character, values, behaviour, habits. Our preferences will change, the world around us will change, material conditions, our roles in society, how we relate with family, parenting even climatic conditions will change...
We can’t stop the change; we can only pray the direction of the change is towards making our journey on earth a better one together.