Sex & January’s Cabbage Blues

Tis the season for the cabbage lalalala lala lala...yhuu sana...tiz bad. Nini nini inkomazi, mawuthi uvula ifridge hello cabbage mawuthi uyayivala vuu tin fish...awusazi nokuthi the smell from the tin fish is the fish itself or it's your girl's punani ngoba phela this month kugezwa nge sunlight dishwasher...you bath but you still smell...kweeee...ningasifaki kuma family problems wenu somblief tog, thina we still good.

Hehe, yaz this month nabo brother ba skaars. Like awekho amadoda nyani. Ubadlile uDecember. Umuntu unyamalele from the 16th in the morning ubuya ngokuthi, "baby you won't believe what happened to me that morning”. Ayi amadoda ayayithetha ishit shame. Sowubona nge-smile makahleli ayi-1 ukuthi no maan, bekumandi la way ngo deci. Oh well sizothini. We need to survive mos. Now, here's a budget plan for the year. Niyeke lama resolutions enu angathi shuu, angabhadlanga.

First things first. Money. Ok. Iphelile.... right? How do you make it back? Do you ride a bitch ass nigga who has all the money to give? You win some, you lose some. Wanna know what you'll lose? The vagina wall's tightness. Ewe chii. How else are you gonna make it through this hectic month which is 365 1/4 days long? Vula mathanga mntaka mkhulu udliwe, maar make sure udliwa ibhoza. No way you gonna lose your self-respect and cash in the process. Earn one of 'em at least. Desperation has a nasty scent akere.

Secondly, find someone who wants to see you succeed just as much as they wanna fuck the hell outta you. Eish, the only worst case scenario that can happen to any woman is getting a guy with a small pipi that suffers from early ejaculation. But sizothini, angithi nifuna imali eningayisebenzelanga? But thina we want guys abayifaka yonke bathinte ne self-esteem. Shuthi manje akwenze ube so attached that being with him is just not enough, you wanna live in his skin. Makakudla ayifake kancane bese ayakukhulumisa. Mawuthi uyamphendula ayifake yonke! Imagine ke...unomuntu okudla kamnandi this month bese akuphe nemali...shiiiiiiiiiiit!

Sometimes akusizi ukufeba shame especially in January ngoba guys know girls are desperate and they would want to fist your pussy for cash. Save in December uphuze imali yabanye, that way ngo January imali ithi wena. And niyeke lento yokuthi nywee nywee, angiphuzi i-wine ngoba iyabhonyelisana. Mawuyisi-ferb uyisi-ferb. Phuza i-wine yakho in peace ungazolala ku-sponge ngo january bakudlele kuso.

Hustle guyzini. Nibadala. Ok yes hoe is life but ke ukhule nge jam ne peanut butter, why must your kids suffer the same fate? Hhe hhe hhe, black tax this black tax that. Hamba la. Akuna black tax nix. Look after your own hawu. Your kids must not suffer the same fate. Hustle better, do not spend your capital just to impress izifebe. Bazofika aboZodwa bakufeshe bathathe yonke leyo mali. Acrynomy was the name of the movie right? Yes... Same script different cast.

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