Ukujola Nabantu Abangenamali

Yaz abekho abantu abalwa njengamadoda a-broke. Zinama dimoni lezinto lezi. Balwela utshwala abangakuthenganga, banama scar wokulwelwa ama-cheri emjaivweni and ngapha balwa noma oledi ngoba i-breadbin i-empty and abashiyelwanga imali yesinkwa. Umuntu mawumvakashele kulekgontshi nyana lakhe ukushaya nge-candlelight dinner ngekhendlela lasemakuleni. Sorry, i-candlelight dinner yakhona ayina-kudla. Ukudla wuwe. Ukudla ubusuku bonke ulambe unjalo aphinde akuqedelele ekuseni instead of breakfast. Makumele akuphe imali ye-taxi kumele ahambe house to house akoleke ama-R2.

Ama-empty promise wabo uthini ngawo? “Baby when I become a billionaire sizoya eChina”. Akekho informed u-brothers nge Corona Virus phela. Yena he just wants to avoid i-Dubai ngoba usaba izintanga zakhe oBabu Mseleku. Uyazi ukuthi daar he will be a level one blesser ngoba izintanga zakhe zenza umrivifhi, they only spend profits and imali mayiphuma ngapha iyangena.Wuu shame abo-girl bayayibekezela ikaka. Mawuhamba naye with your buddies and you give him money to go buy you alcohol, abuye athi kushoda i-R3. Mawuthi uthenga utshwala ukufesha ngathi wuye okuthengele. Mara shame bona i-sex bayayazi yhoo. Bayakhona ukukufesha uneliseke yaz. Yes i-gift ye valentines isende but it is better than nothing I suppose.

It ain't only guys ke aba-broke. Uke wabezwa labo girl abathi, “I don't date broke guys” leso skhathi kusho udodi nje who owns a phone ecima ku-50%. Abo girl basile shame. Umuntu abe ukhekhe ngsebenzele, akhohlwe ukuthi uyaguga. Ama-slay queen don't wanna work, mara athanda izinto ezi-grand. Ama-2000 asazowaqubula amadoda. Slay queens are born every day. Lo yena ikhekhe liyavithika, udliwa goed and noma sekaphelile bayamqedelela. Few years down the line i-pussy bean izobe iwele phansi. Ngeke isaba sensitive nale clitoris yakhe ngoba izobe ingaphandle ilokhu ishaywa umoya. Sisters are ageing but bona bathembe imali yokudangalaza. Abantwana babo bagula nhalo nje. Bazoyeka kanjani ukugula abantwana ngoba umdoko wabo uthengwe mgemali yobufebe bese mawushisa upholiswa ngomlomo okushaywa ngawo ama-bj. Fokof maan. Lephela masipa waitse.

Bayakukwatela ke abo-brokie mawuthi awunamali. Umuntu ufuna a wow life mara une-lol budget. Ngithi mina, if you are a guy, never miss an opportunity to travel just because your girlfriend can't afford to pay for herself. Mshiye maan! Makashiyeke u-girl. Uzohlangana nabanye phambili. Mawuthi uyamzama ubaby nge Mr. Price item yena ufuna i-Gucci. Cabanga nje. A whole Gucci!? That is why thina sithola ama connect nezigodi e-town sivele sibathengele khona. Philipp Plein!? Haha, no problem. That T-shirt costs over R60k but sizomtholela eye R250 lapha eJozi. Ngeke sidakelwe i-Eishkom ngapha nge loadshedding yamasimba, ngapha i-petrol iyakhuphuka njalo nje bese kuba yilo sathane o-ungrateful othanda izinto. Sibayela lapha kaDunusa eTown ku- jumble sale ngoba bakhohlakele kabi. Futhi nje broke guys should start wearing leggings. Ama-pockets awani? Awe-zambuck? Mayayifake kumandeski. Uzohamba uyomthengele item e-authentic bese ahambe ayokufebela ayigqokile uzisole. Angifuni niks ngani nina ma-readers wami. Ngeke kudlalwe ngani ngikhona. Not on my watch. I mean, umuntu akutshele ukuthi yena akawudli umdoko mara kwaleyo mpushana ye-R12 iyamhlula. Bayamithisana ke abo-brokie bethu bezithandwa. Ngake ngasho that they have the most fertile sperms, ngoba nawo ngathi abalekela indlala. Umuntu akumithise ngamasbomu ngoba ufuna ukukulwisa ngemali yomndende. Mayifika leyo R400 athi incane, as if uRamaphosa uphe yena. He budgets every month before imali iphuma ukuthi eyakhe imalini. If you call him and tell him that umntwana ukhalela ama-danone eSpar athi kuwe shintsha i-isle uhambe la kungena danone nama toys khona. Habe! Sekancedekile futhi nge free call-back. Umshaya nge-callback naye ayibuyisele. Mina ngeke shame.

Lento i-simple bahlali. Simple. Abo-brokie must date in their own calibre, level or whatever. Stay away from partners who are flat broke but bane expensive taste. Izimbungulu lezo and they will milk you dry. Wothi ngasho. Bayakubalekela futhi nemali mayiphela as if bona banayo. This thing of balancing the equation ayincedi mos. Left makajole no left nje klaar. Mawunemali jola nomuntu onemali. Yes ungafeba no brokie but ekhaya kunani? Kunemali. Iyabahlanyisa i-R200 e-wallet. Uzoba sure ukuthi ukudlile kanti nex, kudliwe yena. Uzobothoka ngenxa yotshwala nokwazi wonke ama-sex position ngoba ku-practi(zwa) ngaye. Mawuzazi ukuthi awunamali, yeka ukuthanda izinto. Hlala kini, ngeke ufe! Vuka ubangene. Angithi ugezile izolo!? Asithandeni izimali esizisebenzele...abantu bazobhampa if they try their luck cause we will be mentally rich. Ngeke badobhe niks!!!

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